'Welcome members of Beacon Hall and honored guests.  This is the season we honor love. . . And celebrate Voaris and Laeth, twin brothers, the youngest of the Arkati, orphaned by the Ur-Daemon War. 

'Voaris, the ally of those who would love beyond what is allowed them by racial, social or age standards.

'And Laethe, patron of young love and especially lost love.

'It is sometimes said that those who live the hardest often love the hardest.  Perhaps because they are all too aware of how fast life’s circumstances can change.  

'Indeed, many places around River’s Rest bear testimony to the lives. . . and loves. . . that have gone before.

'Today, we meet here in the River’s Rest Museum to take a closer look at an artifact from the town’s past.  An onyx inkwell that once belonged to the most prominent. . . matchmaker. . . this island has ever known. 

'Just imagine all the marriage contracts this inkwell has been a part of!

Smile and picks up the onyx inkwell from the table.  Tilting it, she displays the official seal cut into the bottom.  She then reads the tag aloud.  “This small inkwell was the property of Kemal Jaffar. Jaffar was originally sent to River's Rest by King Gardiel of Torre in 4241 M.E. as part of the Royal Survey and Census party. His reasons for remaining behind in River's Rest after the others left have long been a mystery. There is no mystery, however, about the service Jaffar provided to the people living in River's Rest.”

Act continues, “Kemal Jaffar was the most effective 'wali' the island has ever known. In his time, he arranged marriage contracts for well over a thousand 'river rats.' It is said Jaffar never had an unsatisfied client. . .”

'Quite a feat, wouldn’t you say?”

Act finishes, “Birth records dating from 4245 M.E. show the most common name for newborn boys was Jaffar.”

Chuckle

'Tonight, you will be allowed a small glimpse into why this fellow was such a successful matchmaker.

loresing inkwell with a tale to tell;tell it loud and tell it well

sniff

'pickles again

grin 

'I see the ruddy round face of a rather chubby man sitting at an inn table.  He holds a pickle in his hand, waving it thoughtfully back and forth as he listens patiently to an irate halfling man sitting across from him.  Standing nearby, looking out a window with a vacant bovine stare, is a woman who appears to be more of a dwarf than a halfling.

tone soft

'You said she was petite, Jaffar," the halfling whispers angrily "She's half again taller than I am and weighs more.

'You said she was clever, yet she has to actually think about which end of her hat is the front.

'You said she was beautiful, but she looks like a lopsided duck.

'tsk tsk

'So she's not perfect," Jaffar says softly.  "But she'll make you a good wife.  Honest... trustworthy... faithful..

'You want something pretty in the house, go buy some flowers.

'Trust me, could do worse."  Jaffar takes a bite of his pickle.

'You don't have to whisper, by the way," he says to the halfling.  "She's also hard of hearing.

nod

You nod.

'he could do worse?

grin

loresing that oh inkwell got a chuckle;will the next one have me chewing knuckle?

'Must be a moomph pickle

'that loud *SNAP*

'at the Inn, affar sits across the table from a half-elven woman, who stares at him with a look of horror.

'Are you mad?" she asks Jaffar.  "You want me to marry HIM?  Why, he's nearly blind!

'Jaffar takes another bite of his pickle before answering.  "A blessing," he says.

'He won't see half of what you do.  What freedom that gives you!

'But he stutters!" the woman says.

'Such luck you have," says Jaffar.  "A man who stutters doesn't talk very much, so you'll be left in peace.

nod slow

'He has a limp!

'Only when he walks," Jaffar says

'Jaffar puts his pickle down and leans forward, looking the woman soberly in the face.  "He's a good man and he'll make you a fine husband.

'He won't stray far from the house, he won't bore you by telling you how wonderful he is, and he won't notice if the house isn't perfectly clean. 

nod

'You could do worse,”  he tells her

loresing this inkwell seems to seal some deals;I wonder how then each one feels

'once again he's at it

'Jaffar sits across the table from a middle-aged dwarven couple.  Jaffar's ruddy face is beaming with delight, his blue eyes sparkle with satisfaction.  "So, you want to renew your contract again," he says happily.  "This is the third time.  You must be very happy together

nod

'The dwarven couple don't appear particularly happy.  "He's a miser," she says.  He says, "And she's a spendthrift.

tone whin

'Just this morning I gave her five silvers and I'll bet my beard she's frittered it all away.

tone defen

'I bought a little of this, a little of that

tone grum

'That's two silvers," her husband says

'And I spent a silver here and a silver there.

tone grum

'That's four silvers," her husband says

'The wife furrows her brow as she thinks.  "Now, what did I do with that fifth silver?"

'The husband slams his fist down on the table and exclaims, "See?!  She doesn't know where she spends twenty percent of the silver I give her!

'Jaffar frowns a bit.  "Then why do you want to renew your marriage contract?

'The husband and wife look at each other for a long moment, then turn to Jaffar and say in unison...




point at random audience member




clap 

loresing inkwell is there more to the story;but please nothing bloody or gory

nod

'Ahhhh. . . He's at it again

'The middle aged dwarven couple are holding hands and walking away now
nod

'Kemal Jaffar stands on the wooden steps of the inn and watches them with a satisfied smile.  With a sigh, he turns and trundles steadily down the lane.  Others greet him as he walks, and Jaffar shares a smile or a quip with them in passing.

'Eventually he enters a small gate and follows an overgrown walk leading to a humble cottage.  The door is unlocked and Jaffar enters without knocking.  He removes his coat, hangs it on a peg near the door, and takes himself into the cottage's tiny kitchen.

grin wry

'In a drainer beside a wooden washstand is a single cup, a single plate and a single knife and fork.

'For all that he was the most prominent matchmaker in town history

'and helped them all see “They could do worse...

shrug

You shrug.

'He never did at all?"

'I dunno, but it would seem so

'Maybe he was the worse?

'maybe he left his love behind when he was assigned here

shrug

'that part of his life is not a memory. . . here.

grin imp

'who knows?

'perhaps he thought she could do better